Bitcoin has a branding problem. It’s known as a wildly unstable financial asset, doomed fad, brogrammer fantasy, and blah blah blah. So I subjected it to a favorite branding exercise. In the old days, copywriters wrote 100 good headlines to get one great headline. For bitcoin, I wrote 500.
These lines can be used without permission for website copy, outdoor ads, tweets, stickers, t-shirts—really anything. To broaden their usability, I stuck to benefit-oriented messaging, mostly jargon-free language, and self-deprecating humor.
Money without masters.
It’s not too late to be early.
Know what else came and went until it was inescapable? Civilization.
There’s no such thing as too much freedom.
Magna Carta. Declaration of Independence. White Paper.
Bitcoin is the world’s most powerful lie detector. No wonder banks hate it.
Traditional finance is built on math. And soon it will be eliminated by it.
When an immovable object is also an unstoppable force.
Just because its origins are uncertain doesn’t mean its future is.
Even if you don’t buy the hype, you’d better believe it.
Your bank could already be insolvent. It’s not like they’d tell you.
Don’t be the one in the history book pushing the wheelbarrow full of cash.
Bitcoin might be in its 56k modem days. But broadband is close.
If you think bitcoin has an image problem, imagine the millions who died fighting for gold.
Money wouldn’t be the first thing to go digital for good.
Bitcoin isn’t for getting rich. It’s for protecting you from them.
“Mining” has never been less interchangeable with “human rights abuse.”
Bitcoin’s not perfect, but at least it can’t be swept away by a modest breeze.
If you think bitcoin is expensive, imagine what you’ll think when it can’t be measured in dollars.
There are many reasons to buy bitcoin. None beat making Jamie Dimon mad.
The only money that solves more problems than it creates.
There is no Fort Knox of bitcoin. There are millions.
Feel even older writing checks.
There is no bitcoin for beginners. Bitcoin is for beginners.
RIP ACH.
You know the Communist Manifesto. Now meet the Anti-Communist Manifesto.
Some thought communism would end the dollar. They couldn’t have been more wrong.
You don’t have to be anti-government. You just have to be pro-freedom.
If those with and without money are miserable, maybe it’s the money.
Say what you want about investment banks.
It’s called cold hard cash because bitcoin puts it in the ground.
Whatever you think of bitcoin, we’re better off without Western Union.
Until bitcoin, storing money in an institution that collapsed every ten years was just what you did.
You can’t be nickel-and-dimed if there aren’t any.
Not going anywhere. Capable of going everywhere.
It doesn’t take money to make money. It takes code.
Save the trees.
There’s no simple solution to the world’s financial problems. But there is a good start.
If anyone’s going to hoard your wealth, let it be you.
Bitcoin can’t sell your data because all it knows about you is 1PNjPRufEecviDDhVT2zqg4J2A7PBT8Bz9.
Powered by people. Not politicians.
There’s no humbler beginning than refusing credit for changing everything.
Bitcoin is half as old as email was before everyone had it. Clock’s ticking.
Don’t wait until no one else is.
We’re still in bitcoin’s first act. These might even be the previews.
They say bitcoin is only for diehards. They also said that about the iPhone.
Think about all the middlemen you’ll never hear from again.
Looking to cut costs? Cut out the middlemen.
Bitcoin and Wikipedia are more alike than you realize. And you love Wikipedia.
The rich got bailouts. The people got bitcoin.
Credit card fraud is a danger to merchants. At least the ones who don’t accept bitcoin.
The next time 70,000,000 credit card numbers leak, will you care?
Bitcoin can’t be blamed for being ahead of its time. But many have tried.
Make hackers work for it. Or change careers.
Banks say bitcoin is for criminals, which makes you wonder why they didn’t buy sooner.
If your money can be frozen, it isn’t your money.
Better money. Better world.
Imagine investing in diamonds before engagement rings.
Infinitely divisible with liberty and justice for all.
Ease of use of use of use.
2008 was probably just a one-off.
The future of technology. The future of money. The future of freedom.
Hey, small business owners: .05% transaction fees.
Feel the rush of getting to agree with Marc Andreessen.
When bitcoin drops 10%, people lose money. When a currency drops 10%, they lose the government.
Bitcoin didn’t exist in 2008. So there’s no excuse next time.
Immutable. Decentralized. Trustless. And if those don’t do it for you: unhackable.
One thing is sure: bitcoin won’t offer you a credit card.
The cure for the common financial crisis.
Lose your wallet for the last time.
Non-government money only sounds scary until you remember who runs the government.
If you don’t trust bitcoin, you can always trust investment banks.
Your portfolio has no idea what it’s missing.
Just because a genius created it doesn’t mean you need to be one.
Things bitcoin is less complicated than: LIBOR, derivatives, subprime mortgages, collateralized debt obligations.
Don’t think bitcoin is comparable to the dollar? Thank you.
1797. 1819. 1837. 1857. 1884. 1901. 1907. 1929. 1937. 1974. 1987. 1992. 1997. 2000. 2008.
The U.N. recognizes 180 currencies, but not bitcoin. Hardly the first coup they’ve overlooked.
100,000,000,000,000,000,000 calculations per second can’t be wrong. In fact, almost all of them are.
Since 2009, inflation devalued the dollar 19.7%. Also since 2009, bitcoin rose 12,000,000%.
Imagine ATMs blowing through the streets like tumbleweeds.
Sound is a strange way to describe money, but then so is inflated.
We were promised flying cars. We got much better.
The future of much more than money.
You don’t need the most bitcoin to make the most of bitcoin.
Inflation devalues money. And it’s legal. And there’s nothing you can do. Well, almost nothing.
If shiny rocks can be worth 9 trillion, imagine the value of what replaces them.
Money can’t buy you love, but you can buy money you love.
It says a lot that cash is made from the same stuff as kindling.
People have been saying it’s too late to buy bitcoin since you could buy one with what’s in your cupholder.
Money won’t save you. At least not the paper kind.
Conundrum: Is bitcoin more valuable because banks hate it, or do banks hate it because it’s more valuable?
There are over 5,000 cryptocurrencies, yet still only one choice.
They said bitcoin was only good for drugs and money laundering. And it is cool, but come on.
Make your last overdraft your last.
Less precious metal. More heavy metal.
It’s not just for libertarians. Sorry, libertarians.
They say bitcoiners live in their moms’ basements. What they don’t say is who bought her the house.
If bitcoin scares you, imagine your portfolio during the next recession.
Money talks, but bitcoin is the strong silent type.
To your portfolio, it could be a lifesaver. To the developing world, it already is.
Where we get the expression “smart money.”
Bitcoin doesn’t need to replace the dollar to change minds about it.
The downside is that now when you find $20 in an old coat, it might be worthless.
It’s not reinventing the wheel if the wheel is a cinder block.
Bitcoin is so resilient even China can’t ban it. And that’s their whole thing.
Why not disrupt money? We’re disrupting everything else.
Save money.
Good things to come out of the global financial crisis: 1) bitcoin, 2)
The only way to keep money in a vault and always with you.
At one point, we all laughed at electric cars.
Sure, every libertarian can be wrong. But not this time.
Millions own bitcoin. Don’t wait for the next zero.
If “deflationary currency” sounds strange to you, give it ten years.
Nothing feels less like paying 26.99% interest.
Also bald. Also a symbol of freedom.
If you’re skeptical about bitcoin, you’re actually who it’s for.
Bitcoin is up 15,000,000% since day 1. Your credit card gives you 1% back at Edible Arrangements.
Gold also got off to a rocky start.
The smell of cash is mostly butt sweat anyway.
Ideal for getting out of Dodge.
To the First World, bitcoin has value. To the developing world, it’s starting to define it.
Imagine money escorted by an armored car, Joe Pesci, and a worm from Dune.
You don’t need to buy bitcoin to start. You don’t even need to buy whatever 1/1328.7th of a bitcoin is called.
Bitcoin-curious? You’re not the first. And you’re far from the last.
Believe it or not, 0.42069666 bitcoin is a respectable amount.
Instead of gloating when bitcoin goes down, you should be buying. It might be your last chance to do both.
Bitcoin has never been hacked. Just like the NSA, CIA, FBI, DNC, RNC, IRS, and every Fortune 500 company.
We all know someone who won’t shut up about bitcoin. Some of us were even smart enough to listen.
A day may come when we are all that bitcoin guy.
The bitcoin community might be factional, but so was the Continental Congress.
You never forget your first bitcoin is the new you never forget your first million.
Traditional finance hasn’t done anything this cool since pneumatic tubes.
Bank transfers take 5–10 days. In that time, bitcoin has shown up, gotten a tan, learned to surf, and fallen in love.
Darwinism does it again.
The only currency made by consensus instead of commandment.
Things you think you’re too old for shouldn’t include more freedom.
There is still a case to be made for the dollar. Unfortunately, it’s 243 years old.
If privacy isn’t important to you, tweet your passwords.
Bitcoin is the first software that can’t be duplicated. Or imitated.
Paper money used to be an improvement.
If our financial system were as good as they say, bitcoin wouldn’t exist.
Some valuables don’t need to be hidden.
Hackers don’t love bitcoin. It’s putting them out of work.
Some thought the dollar’s end would result in a reckoning, not a respite.
Average wire fees are $50. Average bitcoin fees require drop kicking the decimal to the right.
Money changer.
Some say bitcoin is unstable. You know, unlike the stock market.
Take back control.
Stop measuring wealth in zeroes. Start measuring it in freedoms.
Smith. Hayek. Friedman. Nakamoto.
Maybe money isn’t the root of all evil. Maybe it’s just the money we have.
Power to the people.
Change you can keep.
It’s not like anything nerds love ever conquered the world before.
Banks aren’t the only victims of bank robbery.
Nerd is just another word for early.
There’s a recession every 8–10 years. It’s been 11.
The first global global reserve currency.
Skip the bread line.
Depression-resistant. Recession-proof.
Stop buying gold you’ll never touch.
Give $XAU a run for its $USD.
You can spell “fiat” without “fee,” but you can’t say it.
Fees so small it could take years to notice them.
Some trade futures. Others buy it.
Apple stock was also considered risky. Hundreds of times. By experts.
Stonks?
Restoring sanity to currency.
Your portfolio isn’t diversified without bitcoin.
Money doesn’t grow on trees. It is trees. Still. In 2019.
The problem with the dollar as a reserve currency is that 7,400,000,000 don’t have any.
It hasn’t been all about the Benjamins since BlackBerries.
Value your privacy. Even if they don’t.
Bitcoin uses elliptic curve cryptography, which means hacking it requires millions of years, every computer on earth, and the energy from three suns.
Stack it to the man.
Don’t wait for retrospect.
Maybe the only thing giving money a good name.
If governments aren’t doing anything wrong, they have nothing to worry about.
Snorin’ Buffett.
The first payment network to be secured by raw computational power. And empirical evidence.
Impossible to counterfeit. If someone does, make them president.
Bitcoin isn’t utopian. But it is anti-dystopian.
Blue-chip stocks stand in line to get bitcoin’s autograph.
The Internet is better without masters. And so is its money.
Fearless. Unstoppable. Defiant.
Nothing comes with more hidden costs than bad money.
Making change by getting rid of it.
Modern portfolios are full of bulls, bears, and now a badger.
Dead governments: too many to count. Dead currencies: impossible to count.
The common denominator of a gold nugget and a text message.
It’s no coincidence that coins are also called change.
The monopoly on money ends now.
The only thing less reversible than a bitcoin transaction is time. And Einstein had his doubts about that.
Easy. Money.
Paper money always knew this day would come.
The best time to give in to FOMO is when you have none.
Peace of mind doesn’t have a price.
There’s nothing standard about the new standard.
It’s too late to stop 2008, but not too late to avenge it.
You can hate, doubt bitcoin, and even misrepresent bitcoin. But what you can’t do is stop it.
In an alternate timeline, it’s the dollar that saves the world.
There’s no better use case for bitcoin than being Edward Snowden. And he loves it.
Bitcoin may be capped at 21,000,000 coins, but its market cap is another story.
Diamonds: small, common, easy to lose. Bitcoin: muscular, scarce, friend to the common man.
There’s no such thing as a blood bitcoin.
Better late than nocoiner.
Being your own boss isn’t enough. You have to be your own bank.
The Energizer Bunny is dead. But bitcoin is still going, and going, and going. [I’m sorry about this one. Sorry everyone.]
5,000 competing cryptocurrencies, 1000s of doomsday predictions, and countless adversaries later. Not a scratch.
It shows a rare lack of foresight from bitcoin’s creator that it wasn’t launched on Independence Day.
Submit to your inner guy who corners you at a party to talk about the Federal Reserve.
The cycle will be complete when bitcoin’s market cap hits $700,000,000,000.
To be fair.
Opportunity doesn’t get much more equal.
The free world is free enough. Bitcoin is for the rest of it.
The most excited you can be about the right of the decimal point.
The biggest question facing money is not whether it has a future, but whether it will be better than the past.
No one outlawed bitcoin faster than tyrants. That says something.
If your money isn’t global, neither are you.
Banks protect money from theft, fire, and weather. Bitcoin protects it from all four.
The biggest threat to bitcoin is quantum superposition. The biggest threat to the dollar is mismanagement. Which is more likely?
If you want it done right, you gotta be your own bank.
No one ever died in a bitcoin mine.
Limited in number. Limitless in potential.
Finance without fine print.
Better than cash unless you’re making a music video.
Bitcoin has no CEO, which means no one can tank your portfolio with a tweet.
No president, congress, senate, or parliament controls bitcoin. How democratic.
This isn’t about old vs. new. It’s about wrong vs. right.
You won’t need a banking license to be your own bank.
Bitcoin proudly stands for everything that Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t.
Strange how paper money attracts so much paperwork.
No registration, credit checks, paperwork, or judgmental glances necessary.
Bitcoin is far from perfect. But that’s still a lot closer than the dollar.
You can not know what a blockchain is, what mining does, what decentralization means, and still get more out of bitcoin than someone who does.
Opening a bank account requires much more than money. And that’s the problem.
Bitcoin doesn’t discriminate against age, sexuality, gender, religion, political alignment, class status, financial history, race, skin color, or nationality. For starters.
Not only will bitcoin never ask for your personal info, it can’t.
If data is the new oil, bitcoin is a lit match.
Stop counterfeiters without making a single arrest.
Governments oppose bitcoin because it “funds terrorism.” Guess they don’t want the competition.
The powers that be may not be for much longer.
Bitcoin might be in its speculation phase, but at one point so was the Enlightenment.
Survivalists love bitcoin. Maybe because it’s one of them.
Real value reflected by real scarcity. Looking at you, diamonds.
Send your bank a statement for a change.
One bitcoin can be divided into 100,000,000 pieces. How’s that for change.
There are two kinds of people: those who love bitcoin and those who don’t understand it.
Better to have your head in the clouds than the sand.
Familiarity breeds consensus.
The only good guys in suits hype crowds at baseball games.
Clouds get stopped at more borders than bitcoin.
You might not want money that can’t be counterfeited. But 1.4 billion Indians do.
Make 1,000 transfers in the time it takes one ACH transfer to never arrive.
Wire transfers pay two people: recipients and banks.
Credit scores are a digital caste system.
There will never be more than 21,000,000 bitcoin, no matter how many asteroids we mine.
We’re about to mine asteroids, but digital cash is science fiction.
Pay anyone, anywhere, anytime, and most importantly: for any reason.
If you can’t beat them, buy bitcoin.
While bitcoin makes headlines, the dollar barely makes it out of sweatpants.
If bitcoin is the Wild West, then the bond markets are the Dark Ages.
Those comparing bitcoin to the Wild West forget what followed.
When money is finite, a bank bailout is just a conciliatory pat on the back.
With just 21,000,000 possible, less really is more.
Preppers love bitcoin, which is weird since it makes the world stable.
Price is the only thing about bitcoin that’s ever gone down.
It’s fitting that the first borderless currency has no language barriers.
A barrier to entry so low you’ll need a shovel to find it.
Free money.
There are two futures: the one imagined by bitcoin and the one imagined by China.
Enemy to no one but the surveillance state.
Trillions are spent on networks that track you. And soon, trillions will have been spent on one that doesn’t.
One place where the developing world is years ahead of the First World.
You wouldn’t judge a person without reading their white paper.
Everywhere to stay.
Getting rid of banks by making billions more.
You can’t blame banks for trying to stop bitcoin. Horse breeders tried to stop cars.
Subway walls. Tenement halls. A Denny’s in Des Moines. IRC. The 9 o'clock news. Gas stations.
Our economy is the Titanic. Bitcoin are its limited lifeboats.
There’s more than one way to separate money from politics.
Don’t let a credit card company tell you what constitutes a worthy cause.
Makes credit histories history.
There is no master of bitcoin, but you can easily master yours.
Separate money from banking. Preferably with an axe.
When you become your own bank, you make the rules, set the hours, and never wait for anyone.
Get it while there’s still a dollar to buy it with.
Accountable.
The system is rigged, but bitcoin can’t be.
Bitcoin has ODD. And we couldn’t be happier.
Privilege is inversely proportional to how much you value money that can’t be copied, diluted, stolen, or stopped.
The dollar might not discriminate, but its handlers certainly do.
Bitcoin is honestly pretty boring, which is how money should be.
Predictable. Meticulous. Accountable. What makes bitcoin great money also makes it an agonizing first date.
“Securities.”
Imagine not sacrificing all of your personal info to receive $5.
Simon to the dollar’s Garfunkel.
FONOMO
The future of banking has nothing to do with banks.
Remittances don’t leave you with many good options. Except one.
It’s sad to think that every person has a price. Unless it’s in bitcoin.
Piggy banks had the right idea.
To teach your kids the value of a dollar, give them ninety cents.
Plenty of bitcoiners live off the grid. Don’t worry. You’ll never meet them.
You can’t be a global citizen if your money gets stuck at the airport.
If money is the blood of the economy, then bitcoin is type O negative.
Your bank uses 2FA. Bitcoin uses 80000FA.
The only network whose neutrality they can’t do a thing about.
People also passed on the Internet. But not for long.
Damie Jimon. Pank Haulson. Gim Teithner. Fick Duld. Sarry Lummers. [This one’s in here for me.]
You can’t bribe a computer, let alone all of them.
Good for the underbanked. Great for the anti-bank.
PayPal isn’t really.
So what if bitcoin’s creator is anonymous. You can’t name one person at your bank.
Don’t judge bitcoin by its friends. Judge it by its enemies.
Still new enough that nobody knows whether or not to capitalize it.
In 2014, the U.S. auctioned 144,336 bitcoin for $334 a piece. What else can you say?
You gotta hand it to the Winklevoss twins. Again.
Warren Buffett said bitcoin would come to a bad end. He didn’t say for who.
Requires as much knowledge of code as light switches require knowledge of electricity.
No one loves bitcoin more than criminals. Especially if they’re stupid.
Freedom of expression is about much more than speech.
Nothing has shaped bitcoin’s reputation like the quest for clicks. Not even what it does.
Trusted third parties are what happened to the Third World.
One world government = bad. One world currency = good.
Condemning new and exciting things is one of humanity’s oldest traditions.
Open a bank in your living room, your kitchen, or even your bathroom, you big freak.
Now that you collect coins, you and your dad will have something to talk about.
Brad-free banking.
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, follow the engineers.
You don’t see engineers volunteering to write code for Google.
The open-source community’s Sistine Chapel.
The future doesn’t care if you believe in it.
It’s not that other currencies are bad, it’s that they were betas.
As safe as money gets without a dragon sleeping on it.
Let fiat be done.
Back from the dead often enough to star in a soap opera.
Still kicking. Like a mule. That knows karate.
Rebel in the old world. King in the new.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then they buy bitcoin.
A Nobel laureate predicted the end of the Internet by 2005. Guess what he said about bitcoin.
Bitcoin: for freedom. The dollar: four bills featuring slave owners.
You can never hold your bitcoin. And yet they can never be taken from you.
Before PayPal falls asleep, it checks under the bed for bitcoin.
Haters gonna hate watching in horror as inflation gradually devalues their money.
2019’s hottest privacy tool is from 2008.
The it financial asset and the IT financial asset.
Remittances without reservations.
Why should sending money to family involve strangers?
Setting finance on fire by putting it on ice.
There are some interest rates the Fed can’t do anything about.
Publicly verifiable money stops corruption better than any task force. Especially corrupt ones.
The dollar is brought to you by the same people as the TSA, student loans, and the Iraq War.
You don’t need to register to buy bitcoin. You can just buy bitcoin.
The people telling you not to buy bitcoin also said there was no housing bubble.
Justice may be blind but the banks have 20/20 vision.
Don’t understand bitcoin? So what. You can’t even change your oil.
Right now, someone is sitting down with a 25-year-old banker named Spencer.
Know what goes well with a bank account? A landline.
It took 7,000 years to invent a level playing field.
Nothing scares power like what it can’t control.
Faceless value.
Offshore tax shelters hold $37,000,000,000,000, which is why we must stop bitcoin.
The state currency of the stateless.
Be a part of something smaller than yourself.
You can always flash a wad of Red Lobster gift cards.
Without bitcoin, what would you talk about on a first date?
Brexit is expected to negatively impact every major currency. With one exception.
Some say taxation is theft, but they’re wrong. Inflation is theft.
Buffett was right, bitcoin is rat poison: to bureaucrats, aristocrats, autocrats, and plutocrats.
Your VPN can’t do it alone.
Like scotch, it’s limited, gets better with time, and more fun the more you have.
Sound money’s last stand.
The bitcoin community approves this message. Hang on, now they don’t. Wait, now they do again.
Ahead of its time, yet a return to simpler times.
Things bitcoin doesn’t give: a hoot, a damn, a rat’s ass, bailouts.
If you’re spending $50 to send $500, you’re doing two things wrong.
Before bitcoin, the fastest way to send money abroad was a plane.
There’s a war for your data. Arm yourself.
000000000019d6689c085ae165831e934ff763ae46a2a6c172b3f1b60a8ce26f might not look like a declaration of independence, but it is.
Reach like this evades even Santa Claus.
Perhaps the first time that a global power hasn’t abused either.
World anti-bank.
Until bitcoin, bringing the world together was usually a bad thing.
Eventually, bitcoin meetups will just be called shopping.
Bitcoin meetups used to be at bars. Now they’re at convention centers. Soon they’ll be on the moon.
Battling bitcoin mining supercomputers might be the closest we get to robot wars. But probably not.
It’s easy to get the hang of bitcoin, so when you do, make sure your mom does, too.
Force banks to show their final form.
Native bitcoin support will come to iOS. Six months after it comes to Android.
Good thing bitcoin reinvented banking and not the guillotine.
The free market has never been so excited about something so regulated.
Take compulsive phone checking to brave new heights.
Strange that joining a community can make you more independent.
Bitcoin’s stability actually increases as it grows. Just like investment banks.
Turn your Thanksgiving into the 4th of July.
To the bitcoin network, you’re more than a number. You’re also a bunch of letters.
The best thing to happen to freedom since inventing the bald eagle.
Unlike financial networks that mine your data, bitcoin doesn’t care about your Tony the Tiger fetish.
Bitcoin doesn’t care how you buy, where you buy, what you buy, why you buy, or who you buy from.
Microscopic transaction fees could mean the end of cash-only, if not cash itself.
Transactions less reversible than tattoos, fortunately for koi fish guys.
You can’t stop the cameras on every corner. But you can stop them from being in your computer.
The buck stops here. And so do the trackers.
Go fund anyone.
Limited supply. Limitless applications.
Satoshi Nakamoto could probably be anyone. Except Mark Zuckerberg.
There may only be 21,000,000 bitcoin, but each drives a clown car 100,000,000 strong.
The common denominator of furries, Jack Dorsey, and history’s most expensive pizza.
Some call bitcoin a religion. And, to be fair, it does claim many converts.
When aliens make contact, at least we’ll have some technology in common.
Bitcoin doesn’t trickle down. It pours.
Always by consensus. Never by committee.
When all the banks are empty, maybe we can solve the housing crisis.
Rarely has a financial instrument this complex benefitted anyone but a bank.
To sum up bitcoin’s value in a word: Equifax.
The biggest difference between bitcoin and the dollar? A choice.
Every government wants to go cashless. They should be careful what they wish for.
Asking a bank about bitcoin is like asking a gazelle about lions.
Fitting that something called blockchain would keep people out of chains.
Run away from inflation.
The safety deposit box isn’t worth it.
To shut down bitcoin, you must shut down the internet. So get used to it.
Being outlawed in China isn’t a setback for bitcoin. It’s a badge of honor.
Developers are extremely well-paid. But only for bitcoin do they volunteer.
They call bitcoin the Wild West, which is fitting since it’s leading to new frontiers.
Hate drama? Buy bitcoin. Love drama? Join the bitcoin community.
There’s always talk about helping the developing world. And, until bitcoin, that’s pretty much all it’s been.
Until we encrypt cows, thieves may have to go back to cattle rustling.
You already invest in yourself. Take the next step and become your own bank.
When was the last time you betrayed your trust?
A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that lasts a lifetime.
An honest day’s work deserves an honest form of payment.
There hasn’t been a recession since bitcoin was invented. Just saying.
Want to know what a future without bitcoin looks like? Check the recent past.
Checks can be canceled. Accounts can be frozen. But bitcoin marches on.
How will douchebags light cigars now?
Heist movies will never be the same.
Statements of wealth are rarely so understated.
When only 21,000,000 are possible, there can be no billionaires.
Take Big Brother down a peg.
Bitcoin probably won’t make you rich, but it can make you financially secure.
Money’s biggest problem isn’t the people in charge, it’s that there are people in charge.
Get rich slow.
When cell phones were still new, people said they’d keep their landlines.
Banks are a powerful opponent. But so is progress.
Bankless made effortless.
Protect your money from those who are supposed to protect it.
BANKS: Spending billions understanding Gen Z. BITCOIN: Spent millions of hours watching Dragonball Z.
The best part of being your own bank? Naming it.
Who knew that the CIA would oppose what the developing world loves.
Maybe the solution isn’t more money, but less.
Your bank thinks a 4-digit pin is cutting-edge security.
Bitcoin requires more confirmations to send $5 than a nuclear sub does to end the world.
Critics are calling financial freedom one of the best freedoms yet.
Odds of guessing a bank PIN: 1/10,000. Odds of guessing a bitcoin private key: 1/10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000..
Pass on something that your kids won’t resent.
You can’t practice self-care without self-banking.
The solution to banking solutions.
Being treated like an adult is also a great rewards program.
If the point was to fix the banks, we wouldn’t have brought a wrecking ball.
Definite flight risk.
We might never know a world without paper money. There are too many museums.
Suitless. Tieless. Painless.
Deflationary money. The ultimate savings account.
Helping the small businesses you love become the giant corporations you hate.
Having authority problems used to get you detention. Now it gets you on podcasts.
Cars lose value once they leave the lot. A dollar loses value before it leaves the assembly line.
Love democracy? Then participate in one.
The biggest threat to banks isn’t regulation, it’s decentralization.
Banks need your money. Your money doesn’t need a bank.
Freedom sounds like a strange investment, but it’s been known to have enormous upside.
Not having to trust bitcoin is the whole point of bitcoin.
Send banks back to where they came from: the Bronze Age.
When money is just 1s and 0s, the only question is which will be 1 and which will be 0.
They’re planning to ditch the penny. It’s a start.
You’ll never need to run to the bank when it’s in your pocket.
Bitcoin might never be AAA-rated, but that’s okay. All those mortgages were.
If bitcoin is too volatile to be a currency, explain FOREX.
Bitcoin may never find perfect equilibrium, but it can deliver it.
Governments will come around to bitcoin when it’s ten times as expensive.
Feel like a hacker even if you think Schnorr is a Pokémon.
When no one is watching, that’s the real you. Spend more time being them.
A perfectly legal way to rob banks.
Bitcoin is the world’s most powerful supercomputer. And it doesn’t play chess or any games at all.
Scarcer than platinum, gold, silver, and diamonds not put together.
Yet another subculture destined to be culture.
Settling for less has never felt less like settling.
Best enjoyed in moderation. Not like you have a choice.
Bitcoin doesn’t employ a single lobbyist unless you count guys in inflatable T-Rex suits.
If bitcoin wasn’t secure, so many wouldn’t be lost forever.
Taking people out of the equation is a formula for success.
Not your parents’ elliptic curve encrypted peer-to-peer electronic cash.
If you want to stop bitcoin, send an asteroid.
You only need lobbyists if you’re afraid of Congress.
The only name in tech not trying to make tech more human.
The real solution to fake money.
The end of the beginning of money.
Thanks for reading. See you at the next 500.